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How I Imagine Congress Works

  • A: Hey, we need a new shovel.
  • B: Okay, let's buy a new shovel.
  • A: Cool.
  • B: I'm just gonna put this bag of candy on there too.
  • A: What?
  • B: well...i want candy. You're buying the shovel. Now you can't buy the shovel unless you buy me my candy too! Moo hoo hah hah hah!
  • A: That was some lackadaisical evil laughter.
  • B: Just buy the shovel.
  • A: But I don't want candy.
  • B: But, don't you need the shovel? Don't you want the people to have their holes dug? Why are you standing against progress?
  • A: Your candy is an abomination!
  • B: Your MOM is an abomination.
  • A: You suck!
  • B: YOU suck!
  • A: You suck!
  • B: YOU suck!
  • A: You're the reason we can't have nice things.
  • (I kept going past this but it went from silly to depressing).